Itachi Uchiha Is Not How You Think He Is
by livster01
Summary: Itachi Uchiha is known to lack apathy... well in most cases. Oneshot!


**Summary: Itachi Uchiha is known to lack apathy… well in most cases.**

On a seemingly normal day, Sasuke was woken up rudely by a blonde idiot jumping energetically on his bed, which then lead to Sasuke kicking him off the bed. Naruto landed on the floor with a thud and looked up at Sasuke with a stupid grin on his face.

"Hey Sasuke! Get ready because you're going to be blown off your feet by the surprise I got for you!" Sasuke wiped Naruto's spit off his face with disgust and glared at him with such ferocity, that even the Hokage would wilt at his gaze. But the bumbling blonde paid no attention to the fact that Sasuke was planning to slowly murder him in the near future because he interrupted his beauty sleep.

Naruto kept blabbing on about how great his surprise is this time and that Sasuke would love it so much that would he bend down and kiss Naruto's feet. _Yeah right, even if you kill Itachi Uchiha for me and revive my whole clan, I still wouldn't bend down and kiss your feet, Blondie._

"Naruto this better be good or I'm banning you from my apartment. Not like I haven't done that already." He murmured last part. Sasuke groggily looked at his alarm clock then back up Naruto. "Why the hell are you even awake at FOUR BLOODY O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?" Sasuke glared at the bundle of energy again before he pulled his duvet over his head and tried to go back to sleep.

"Shush! You might wake up the neighbours, Sasuke!" Naruto being a hypocrite, scolded him and then went back to jumping on his bed. _You're the one to talk! _Sasuke bellowed in his head. Naruto yanked Sasuke's duvet off the bed which then proceeded into having Sasuke tumbling out of his bed along with Naruto.

"WHAT THE-"Sasuke was interrupted by the blonde teen sticking his face in Sasuke's face.

"YOUR SURPRISE IS IN THE LIVING ROOM! YOU NEED TO SEE IT!" Not giving Sasuke any choice, Naruto dragged him out of his bedroom into the living room.

All the lights were off in the living room but Naruto was still able to navigate Sasuke onto his couch and told him to sit there until he turned the lights on. _I swear to God if this another one his stupid pranks, I'll gut him!_ Sasuke thought as he remember the last when Naruto came around his apartment and proclaimed that he had a surprise for him. It took him _months_ to wash out all the slime out his hair!

Naruto had finally turned the lights on and his "surprise" was sitting directly in front of him. Sasuke was shocked to say at the least. The surprise was not something, it was someone. More specifically it was…

Itachi Uchiha.

The older Uchiha had his legs crossed and stroked the kitten in his lap while he grinned at Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn't have been able to recognise him if it weren't for the two lines on his face and the Sharingan eyes.

Naruto smiled at the scene of the brotherly reunion between the two Uchiha's and slipped out of Sasuke's apartment. None of the Uchiha's noticed as one of them was too busy taking in the fact that his younger sibling as grown up so much and the other just sat there, shocked out of his senses. An uncomfortable silence swept over them and Itachi started to feel a bit awkward.

"Yo!" Itachi greeted to break the silence. Sasuke did not react the tinniest bit and just blinked at him.

"Hey, I know this is like a bit of a… shocker to you but like I want say that I am like SO FRIGGING SORRY FOR WHAT I LIKE DID, SASUKE! I was like possessed by this demon which I kind of like summoned the other day and he was like _we should go on a killing spree and activate the Mange-whatever so we can be powerful and stuff. _But like I didn't really care about stuff like that, I wanted to grow up and be an author and write books like "Icha Icha Paradise" but like the demon was like he'll make me like more famous than like the author of "Icha Icha Paradise" only if I like let him possess me and I was like naïve and like fell for it and here I am now with like no money or fame and like working in gay strip bar because like no one else would hire me and like no one wants help me publish my beautiful work! You like understand my struggle, right?" Itachi tilted his head to the left and pouted.

He pouted.

Sasuke snapped out of his trance and gave Itachi the weirdest look ever. He realised that the man sitting in front of was definitely not Itachi Uchiha he knows, the cold blooded murderer who killed his whole clan except one and started a criminal organisation could not have been working in a gay strip bar with an ambition to be an author who writes porn. But then again this could be an illusion technique pulled off by Naruto.

"KAI!" Sasuke shouted as anyone would to snap out of an illusion technique. Nothing happened and Itachi looked at him quizzically and started to open his mouth to say something but Sasuke interrupted. "Who the hell are you and why can't I snap out of your illusion technique?" Sasuke being Sasuke was as demanding as ever whenever he was in a sticky situation.

"Sasuke, it's me!" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him as if to say "Yeah right". "You're brother, Itachi! Don't you like recognise me? Oh wait! Is it like because I'm not like looking as gorgeous as I did before, I can't like help it though! I don't like have enough money to buy moisturiser so like my pores are like suffering really really badly and then like I might need plastic surgery for like a new face but I like my face because like it looks so fabulous when I look in the mirror." He said frantically and during the part where he said he might have get plastic surgery, he looked like he could get a heart attack any second.

"I'm going back to bed." Sasuke said monotonously. The younger Uchiha was tired of Naruto's weird antics and this one was far by the weirdest.

_Naruto you better be ready for tomorrow because this time I have a _surprise_ for you._

Later that day Sasuke woke to the sun's rays shining in his face but then was blocked by something. He tiredly peeled his eyes open to the sight of Itachi Uchiha dressed with a floral print shirt and a pink apron holding a feather duster.

"Young man, do you think that this is an appropriate time of the day to wake up?" Itachi scolded whilst pointing the feather duster at the confused Sasuke. Only one thing was going through his mind then.

_This wasn't a dream._

**Author's note: Hope you liked it! :)**


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